Кадр из фильма "Мауравьи в штанах"

Фильмы не для свидания: топ-10

Кинообзоры

Кадр из фильма "Мауравьи в штанах"Нужно с полной ответственностью относиться к фильмам, посмотреть которые вы собираетесь не в гордом одиночестве, а еще с кем-то. Ведь неудачный выбор может стать концом недавно начавшихся романтических отношений.

Если вы хотите пригласить своего молодого человека в кино, то фильм Дарио Ардженто – не самый подходящий вариант.  Но если это уже произошло, то не стоит читать лекции на тему жанра этноиологии и снафф в кинематографе. Лучше вообще опустить разговор по поводу фильма и заняться чем-то более приятным и романтическим.

Лучше с мамой Стифлера не встречаться

Будучи в седьмом классе, я пригласила на свой День рождения очень симпатичного мальчика Мишу, который в то время мне очень нравился. Но подарок кардинально изменил мое отношение к нему. Диск с фильмом «Муравьи в штанах» стал для меня разочарованием года. к стати, с Мишей мы до сих пор не общаемся.

Молодежность уместна, но в меру. Поэтому на первом свидании все же стоит отказаться, от просмотра «Американского пирога» или «Евротура»

… и папой Кайла

Ваша любовь к Робину Уильямсу возможно и не случайна. Поэтому вы отправляетесь на просмотр фильма «Самый лучший папа». Сначала и придраться не к чему – Брюс Хорнсби играет самого себя, фильм снят проверенной компанией «Magnolia Pictures» да и оценка в 7 баллов на IMDb вполне заслужена.

Ну тут случается то, что Кайл умирает при очень пикантных обстоятельствах. Его отец, роль которого исполнил Робин Уильямс, из всех сил старается защитить сына и спасти его репутацию. Поэтому он хочет представить все так, будто бы его сын покончил собой. После просмотра этого фильма, возможно, Робин Уильямс перестанет быть вашим любимым актером. И в следующий раз вы будете смотреть «Умницу Уилла Хантинга».

Недетская Красная Шапочка

Фильм «Шоссе» — это не картина для свиданий. И это несмотря на превосходную игру Кизера Сазерленда и высокие оценки Роджера Эбера по поводу значимости этой картины. Просто романтика и фильмы категории «Х» несовместимы. Ведь фильм об убийстве, наркотиках, проституции, психиатрической больнице, детской порнографии, маньяках и лесбиянках только усугубит еще не окрепшие отношения.

Иди за мной, не взирая ни на что

Со значимостью Линча спорить не приходится, даже после полного анализа всех провалов и заслуг. Просмотры вдвоем отличаются определенными особенностями. Малознакомые люди сближаются и объединяются, если они что-то делают вместе. Кто знает, возможно, через тридцать лет с широкой улыбкой на лице будете рассказывать своим внукам, как на первом свидании вы впервые поспорили через судьбу Лоры Палмер.

Следующий президент – Линда Лавлейс

Бытует мнение, что мужчины рады, когда и женщины не прочь посмотреть порнофильмы. Ведь «Глубокую глотку» можно посмотреть просто из интереса ради общего киноразвития. Этот фильм Роба Эпштейна поведает биографическую историю о Линде Лавлейс. И, тем не менее – это чистой воды порнография. Если ваша цель – эротика, то ваши фильмы – «Последнее танго в Париже» или «Девять с половиной недель».

Необычная компания – трансвеститы и Бандерас

Помимо того, что Альмодовар – талантливый режиссер, он еще и разносторонне развитая личность. Но каждый мужчина отличается своим индивидуальным мышлением. Ведь карьера не каждого начинается с фотосессии с интригующим названием «Четыре эрекции». Если вы хотите вызвать у своего молодого человека трогательные чувства, то организуйте просмотр фильма «»Вечер», «Бэмби» или «Ускользающая красота». А вот от «Все о моей матери» стоит отказаться, в картине очень много трансвеститов. Фильм мамы можно посмотреть в другой раз. Ведь выдержать конкуренцию Сарика Андреасяна под силу не каждому.

Познание и насилие

После просмотра «Моря внутри» вы просто в восторге от Аменабара. Чтобы удивить своего бойфренда познаниями раннего периода творчества актера, вы пригласили его на совместный просмотр фильма «Тезис». На первый взгляд кажется, что фильм о девушке, занятой написанием диссертации просто не может быть не интеллигентным. Но это до те пор, пока главная героиня не предстанет перед зрителем запертой в подвале, привязанная к стулу. Возможно, вам и удастся провести удачную аналогию с «Девушкой с татуировкой дракона», но рисковать не стоит. Для любителей Испании рекомендую картину «Вики, Кристина, Барселона».

Мама миа!

Особенность фильмов-мюзиклов заключается в том, что главные герои в них больше поют, чем нормально разговаривают. Классика – есть классика, но не факт, что ваш молодой человек оценит ее по достоинству. Поэтому «Чикаго», «Звуки музыки», «Плаксу» и «Призрака оперы» спрячьте для другого случая. Ярые поклонники музыки точно оценят «Стену» Алана Паркера.

Самым обаятельным и привлекательным

Этот фильм – классика советского кино, разобранная на цитаты. Его любят практически все представительницы прекрасной половины человечества, которые хотя бы раз просмотрели эту картину. Но мужчины – не женщины. «Зимняя вишня», «Дневник памяти», «Секс в большом городе» — не для них. Они скорее оценят «Звездные войны», чем женские слезливые мелодрамы.

Трома-тремор

Помните, что на первом свидании есть табу и это табу на эксплуатационное кино. Ведь любое оправдание по поводу того, почему вы вместе смотрите фильм «Токсичный мститель» уже не сможет спасти ситуацию.

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